My favorite relative

My favorite relative was an uncle. He was the heart-stoppingly handsome bad boy of the family and I thought he was truly IT.  He traveled all over the world and came home with exotic photos and experiences. He ran a jazz club in Paris. Oh my gosh, he ran a jazz club in Paris. How could this not impress a young niece?

Eventually he settled down a bit and lived in California for a long time. Once when we went out to visit he let my unlicensed teenager drive his sports car around the block. Cool, right? He . . .

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The Law of Attraction

She lived a fear-based life. In her own pleasant home, she entertained visions of herself as a homeless old woman wandering the streets with all her belongings in a grocery cart. This was long before the days when people were told to use their intention and the law of attraction to bring good things into their lives.

She didn’t end up homeless, but she didn’t give up the fear of failure, the fear of poverty, the fear of ruin. Sometimes I wonder if knowing the principles of the law of attraction would have improved her life in any physical or psychological way. It is rather hard to imagine changing a world view with . . .

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Too early

How to know you got up too early.

1. You listen to the same hour of Morning Edition on NPR twice.
2. When the sun finally comes up, you’re ready to go back to bed.
3. You’re ready for lunch at 10 AM.
4. You call someone at 6:30 AM when you know they sleep until 9, but you forgot how early it was because you’ve been awake for hours.

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Let’s Go Fishing

Dad didn’t waste a minute when we got to the house. He hardly let Mom hug the kids before he was waving new fishing poles in the kids’ faces, saying, “Let’s go fishing.”

They came back hours later with evidence in his camera that they’d caught some whoppers. The whoppers were carp and got thrown back in, but the kids felt proud and insisted we look at every photo Dad took. I think the man managed to take 75 photos of one morning’s fishing, so it took a while. Then . . .

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Crack a Smile

Okay, so the Coen brothers are famous for being eccentrically different. But if I walked to the stage three times in a row to pick up an Oscar, I’d crack a smile in pleasure. Or, if I were actually one of the Coen brothers, maybe not. I’d know why I didn’t smile and whether or not I liked lima beans and sleeping in on Sunday.

Have you read  Cormac McCarthy’s original novel No Country for Old Men? I haven’t, but it’s on my list. I want to know why the ending . . .

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Just say no

Really, Ralph, just say no. Stop it. Stop it now. You’ve messed up enough elections. Listen to the anonymous people saying no, no, no.

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The river

The river looks full from the air. It’s February. The river is already getting the benefit of warmer days and melting snow at the lower elevations. I glance out the plane window toward the mountains to see if new snow fell since I’ve been gone. The hills are dry and bare looking, but I know a bit north there is deep snow. Spring will fill the river from bank to bank in a good year like this one.

There’s something awesome about a full river. Power, wonder, . . .

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Cat

The cat is moving in with me. This happens from time to time. The cat never comments on it once the move is complete. She comments plenty during the drive from one place to another. She yowls the whole damn way. Yowls loud. We tried tranquilizers and it didn’t help.

The cat person is in the photo. I’m not the cat person. But I can live with the cat when circumstances demand it.

Sigh. I think I need a better vacuum cleaner before the hair generating device arrives.

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Leeches

“Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to tally the leeches in the Grand Canyon.” The head of the insect inventory project smiled, enjoying his own joke. The man was so skinny that if he shifted his weight from one leg to another, his pants might slide right off his hips, but he had the attention of every entomologist in the room. They were vying for the choice insects.

Marge wanted grasshoppers. She wanted to stay on the surface, in the grass, on dry ground, so she listened carefully for the opportunity to snatch up the grasshopper count. The fellow next to her, whose sinus congestion verged on gross, told her he wanted ticks. She nodded knowingly, as if . . .

The Hall

Susan rose at 6 AM and worked the hall. She did a few stretches in the living room and then began stepping slowly up and back the hall. She did grasp bird’s tail going forward and repulse monkeys going back. She kept it up for 15 minutes. Then she returned to the living room and did the complete form 6 times.

Wide awake and ready for her day, she went to the kids’ rooms to get them up for school. . .

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