If I Only Had a Brain

I listened to the instructor and looked at the string of meaningless numbers and characters marching across my computer screen. None of it meant anything to me. Arrays? What in the world? I had a brain for words, not this. If I only had a brain for this, I could make millions writing brilliant programs. Why couldn’t I learn this?

Please leave a comment with your first 50 words on the topic “if I only had a brain.”


Author: Virginia DeBolt

Writer and teacher who writes blogs about web education, writing practice, and pop culture.

7 thoughts on “If I Only Had a Brain”

  1. The sad truth was that I was here for one reason and that reason had nothing to do with the purity of mathematics or science. My aptitude for numbers is about equivalent with my knowledge of deep sea creatures. Incredibly, I signed up for this class with the sole purpose of checking out … a guy. I cringe in admitting this but there you are. He doesn’t know me from a square root but what the heck, this is brilliant writing material. He is so perfect for my leading man… I don’t even need to talk to him. My mind is spinning all sorts of delicious stories. The only problem is that today… he looked at me. He narrowed his grey eyes and pinned me to my chair. Hunky nerd alert… I am in big trouble.

  2. If only I had a brain that could out-think the worlds largest super-computer. I would be capable of instantly solving many scientific problems with a combination of pure logic and the unpredictable human feelings we are all born with. The downside would be that I probably would be the worlds biggest bore as no other human would be able to understand me.

    1. So true, John! I think the closest sympathetic, super smart character I have read about is Ender Wiggin. That was many years ago, and I never did see the movie. But it would be fun to be that smart if onecould stand it!

  3. Brains for me would mean being someone like John nash of ‘The Beautiful Mind’. Aptly played by Russell Crowe , one of the greatest geniuses ever on the silver screen. The agony of seeing things,that others cannot see; the insight of knowing the illusions to be false,yet battling with them and solving the greatest mathematical riddles ever.That calls for some serious amounts of grey matter. I wish I were him, if only i had brains like him. Sigh!!

  4. Before cooking, soak brain in water for an hour or more, changing water frequently. You may also want to try soaking in milk, chicken broth or other flavored liquid, depending on your recipe. Remove brain from soaking liquid, gently pat dry, then peel off the outer membrane. If there are any blood vessels, remove those as well.

    Excerpt from If I Only Had a Brain: Offal Recipes for All Occasions

  5. I could wile away the hours
    Conferrin’ with the flowers
    Consultin’ with the rain

    And my head, I’d be scratchin’
    While my thoughts were busy hatchin’
    If I only had a brain…

    I bet you couldn’t read this without actually singing it. It’s a catchy tune, isn’t it?

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