I Know

I know it’s been a long time. Almost 30 years. But there’s crap left behind. Some neurons connected in a cycle of fear and pain that still exists. I know it does because it comes out at night in nightmares. What I want to know is how to unconnect those old synapses – make those old tapes quit replaying in my sleep. Be at peace.

Please leave a comment with your first 50 words on the topic “I know.”

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Author: Virginia DeBolt

Writer and teacher who writes blogs about web education, writing practice, and pop culture.

7 thoughts on “I Know”

  1. I know that I don’t know how to change my pattern of being awake at night rehashing my past and, in particular, trying so hard to analyze the impact of my divorce years and years ago on my adult children’s attitudes today. It seems insurmountable.

  2. I know that someday I’ll feel the accomplishment of having one of my stories published. Until then, I’ll just keep being the raconteur of things conjured in my own imagination for as Lauren Bacall once said: “Imagination is the highest kite you can fly.”And isn’t that the truth? Great words spoken by a great lady.

  3. I know there are things I need to do.

    I make up To Do lists and set reminders.

    But there are times when I don’t want to do any of those things.

    Who wants to pay bills, make dentist appointments for my son, stop at the gas station, or even go to work?

    I know some days I just have to be an adult, be responsible, do those things that need to be done.

    But I don’t wanna.

  4. Not the end, this is the means. That much I know. I’ve spent my time courting recognition from statistics representative of nothing, either inaccurate or denoting merely the ebb-and-flow of traffic through a project made for a class and kept as a doorway, something meant only to guide others elsewhere.

  5. What do I know? Turns out, nothing or not enough anyway. I’ve heard the saying, “she was a smart girl, ‘till she fell in love,” but the thing is, I never thought I loved you. So why do I feel so dumb? We weren’t exactly soul mates and you were tolerable at best. Maybe I was lying to myself; denying my true feelings or maybe my feelings developed for you and I never took notice. Our union was for practical reasons— we both loved doing the same thing, we both wanted to create better lives for each other and our children, and to have someone to co-exist with and keep the bed somewhat warm. We were a prosaic couple with romantic dreams. That’s what I knew for certain. But now… all that rationality went down the drain and took what tiny compartments of love that existed, with it. So maybe it would hurt too much to know.

  6. “And then the maid comes, when I am elbow deep in the filthy sink water, and my back is aching like hell, and the kids are raising cain, she comes, sashaying in, the goddess!!” she hissed with righteous indignation.
    Her elderly neighbor looked at her with calm compassion, folded her arms, and mouthed
    “I know”.
    “Who does she think she is ? Some princess!!”
    Here a fusillade of spittle flew across; but the agile old lady moved aside. Slowly , she cranked open her door , and moved in, even as the barrage of complaints carried on. She had no patience for the likes of her young neighbour. Besides, the loud clanging emanating from the kitchen , told her that the vehemence was not lost , even on illiterate ears……

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