“Fasten your seat belts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.” He grinned at me and started up the stairs with a flourish of his hips.
I couldn’t remember the correct comeback. I wasn’t in the mood to play his games anyway. I hurried to the kitchen and grabbed the good bottle of Scotch – the one hidden way in the back of the cabinet. I plunked it on the table, grabbed a glass, and sat down to consider our options.
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I used to love terrifying movies. Remember the one about the mad dog Cujo? That little kid trapped by a rabid dog? These days horror stories don’t have the appeal they used to have. Why?
Do you outgrow the need to feel terror at make believe? Modern life is a horror in itself, but plenty of younger people are still avidly watching horror films. Let’s take a survey: how many older people still enjoy horror films?
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I saw that woman from that movie! You know, the movie where she falls in love with this guy. I know you know who I mean. She’s the one who was in that other movie about the alien. I’ll think of her name in a minute. Anyway, I saw her at Whole Foods. She just looked like a regular person without any makeup. I mean, you could hardly tell it was her. But it was, I know it was.
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A spate of good movies always come out around the holidays. Have you been out to the theater lately? I usually go to a matinee because it’s cheaper. One of my secret pleasures is to go to a movie alone. It’s like I’m hiding from the world all alone in that dark space. No one knows where I am for a couple of hours. It’s delicious to me.
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Many people have talked about Carrie Fisher as a childhood idol. For my generation her mother Debbie Reynold was the idol. For me personally, I idolized Esther Williams when I was a child. She was a swimmer, as I was, and she could do magical things in the water. I wanted to do everything in the water that Esther Williams could do.
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It was one of those dreams you really enjoy. I was scampering (yes, scampering) down the street with Teri Polo. We splashed in puddles and sang songs. She made up one. I sang June Christy’s version of “Midnight Sun.” Damn, I was so good – I sounded just like June Christy. Did I really have to wake up?
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Why do TV characters always push dressers in front of doors they want to block people from opening? It was easy to push the dresser over there. It would be easy to push it out of the way. Then when someone does get through the door, they run away by going up. Up is a dead end. Sometimes TV makes no sense.
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Some things are just not likely. Like this: supposed there was a woman of color who directed movies. Not a movie star, but a director. And suppose there was a Barbie doll made in her honor. Then suppose the doll sold out in 17 minutes. The reality is not likely, but it’s awesome.
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If The Graduate came out today, the advice given to Dustin Hoffman wouldn’t be “plastics” but “solar.” That’s where the economy needs to go, must go, will go. Countries that get there first will be the countries that survive the coming catastrophe. Young people looking for work, I’m telling you right now, solar is where it’s at.
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He used one-liners from movies for everything. It was as if he never had an original thought, but could only regurgitate things he’d memorized. The strange thing was, it was always appropriate. It always worked in the context where he used it. He could learn the entire dialog from a movie in just one viewing. I once asked him if he didn’t start talking until he was old enough to watch movies, but his response was a line from War of the Worlds.
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