Bologna

“It’s true. I promise.”

“What a load of bologna, Teddy. You don’t expect me to believe that crock. Now tell me the truth.”

“Really, Dad. A spaceship picked me up and I lost my homework.” Teddy held out his arms. “But I’m fine. See. They didn’t even hurt me.”

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New and Improved

Not so long ago, I was one of those early adopters. Always wanting the newest thing, the latest thing. Now I’m annoyed by all the new. Things change so fast you can hardly figure them out before they change again. I want to watch the wind in the trees and not think about the newest thing. In a cabin in the mountains would be a nice place to do that. Got one to loan me?

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Shower

Do you sing in the shower? Do your best thinking in the shower? Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about taking a shower. I’m about to have a knee replacement surgery and I’ve been obsessed with grab bars and shower seats and all kinds of showering assistance devices. I never realized how lucky I was to just be able to step in the shower and wash off.

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Recall

Lampshade, Fabreze, quesadilla: these are words I have lost recently. No recall of them whatsoever. Later they appear again, just like always. It’s hard to cope when the word you need just won’t come out of your mouth. It’s like having a stroke, one word at a time.

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67%

Isn’t it kind of strange that we read books on electronic devices that tell us exactly how much of the book we’ve read? You can say to someone, “I’ve only read 67%, so don’t tell me the ending.” So precise. None of this looking at the bookmark sticking out of the pages and saying, “Oh, I’m about 2/3 of the way through.” No, none of that.

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My Favorite Pen

Sure, I buy pens. Those roller ball kind that are supposed to be smooth and easy to write with. But the free pens I pick up from various places – the ones with a business name on the side – always seem to write better. The only problem is, as soon as one of them becomes my favorite pen, it runs out of ink.

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Less

That double rainbow was nothing less than miraculous. It framed the mountains and brightened up the dark clouds behind to remind the world that beauty and joy could still be found in the smallest things, that life continues to amaze and delight. Look up.

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More

She’ll do more for you. She loves to help people. That’s why she is what she is and is in a caring profession. So be careful, don’t wear her out. Don’t take advantage of her giving nature. She’ll turn on you if you go too far.

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Bouncing Betty

He called his little vehicle Bouncing Betty because if you didn’t hold on tight or strap yourself in you would bounce right out climbing the mountain. Those big wheels could climb right over rocks and streams and tilt over halfway to the side and keep right on going. His rescue service was the most popular in the state because of Bouncing Betty – she could go anywhere and collect anybody from their own stupidity.

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Jumping Jack

We called him Jumping Jack because he spent more time going straight up in the air than he did going forward. He would leap atop the car, the shed, over fences. He could grab the leaves off the tallest tree. Nothing seemed too high for our goat, until the day of the big  . . .

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